Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
