she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize