Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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