Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
