I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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