Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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