The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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