did you get engaged???
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
