So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
