I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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