Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
