Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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