Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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