I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
