Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
