Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
