i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize