She's the barista slut.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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