I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
