Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
