I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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