this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
