But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
