if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
