how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
