Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize