You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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