Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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