Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
