just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
