Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
