I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
