ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wear drunk well.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
