i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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