you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Boobs are out for the taking
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I want to fling myself into the sun
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
