I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
True strength comes from lack of pants
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
