she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
