see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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