I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
