i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
