Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
a search helicopter?!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
