it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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