dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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