I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize