brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
