sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
