Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
