I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He? As in you personified your dick?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
