dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize