i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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