I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
