you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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