You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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