she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
