I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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