i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
