How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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