Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
