Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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