So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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