The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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