I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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