we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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