Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
