Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
