Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
