forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This baby is an asshole
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
