I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
