what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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