Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
