I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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