Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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