i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
