And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
